Clarifying Words

There are a number of words in the English language that have been redefined or are applied incorrectly that, quite frankly, disturb me.(Everyone has their idiosyncrasies…) With that said, here are a few that come to mind:

Smells – When someone says, “That smells,” most people assume that something is offensive to the olfactory sense or has an unpleasant maybe even nasty scent to it. Without including or assigning what it is that actually ‘smells’, this statement is ambiguous. Obviously, an alluring perfume smells. Whenever someone says that something smells, just ask them to describe the smell.

Dust – As a verb, the use of the term ‘dust’ or ‘to dust’ is upside down. “I’m going to dust.” That’s the opposite of cleaning. Why would you want to produce filth? I guess there are people, for example, who might say, “I’m going to dust off the furniture.” Why not just say, “I’m going to un-dust…?”

Offensive or Offended – This is a response. Who decides what is offensive? When a person expresses words that are factual, accurate, correct and the truth, there are choices in how one can react. Can a heavy or obese person ever be referred to as fat? A medical professional or athletic physical trainer tells someone they are consulting that they are overweight while a family member, friend or stranger makes the same observation. There is a choice to take offense or be offended. Your buddy tells you that the buttons on your jeans are screaming as they stretch the limits of sizing like being on the infamous torture rack. It’s like continental drift. You laugh and tell them that your doctor just put you on a strict diet and gave you a prescription for Semaglutide. A stranger at the local bar calls you a pig and you crack them over the head with a beer bottle. Ultimately, being offended is a choice.

French Fries – Well, this doesn’t really bother me even though the Belgians lay claim to frying potato strips in oil first. Belgian Fries? Ok. Maybe not. Thank the French for butter and mayonnaise. Oh and Lafayette.

Haircut – “I just had my hair cut.” – “Really? Just one hair…?” That was juvenile. I know.

Indian – Guaranteed someone will choose to be offended by this. Columbus mistakenly called the people who he first encountered on his voyage to the Indies as “Indians.” Honest mistake. After more than five-hundred years, we know better now but words stick for some reason. BIA is the Bureau of Indian Affairs. It’s not located in India. Native American is the chosen term now even though the word ‘native’ is(was?) considered derogatory by some. Indigenous is generally used as a descriptive and has been adopted as an identifier. If we’re being accurate here, the word ‘aboriginal’ is most appropriate given the proper use of language. But wait, there’s more. The word ‘Red Skin’ is somehow a huge faux pas even though this is the word that originated from Native American self-identification, not as a descriptor of skin color but as part of a racial vocabulary used to distinguish themselves from Europeans. Chief Powesheik Meskwaki even used the term in an 1815 treaty council speech, stating, “I turn to all, red skins and white skins,” They referred to themselves as the red colored people or the red-skinned people. Keep in mind that The Redskin Theater is located in downtown Anadarko, Oklahoma, widely recognized as the “Indian Capital of the Nation.” Additionally, the official athletic mascot for Red Mesa High School located in Navajo Nation(reservation in northeastern Arizona) is the Redskins.                                                                                                                                                                                                            As for the other Indians(Indians from the country of India), they call themselves “Desi.”

Greenland – This country is certainly not green. It once was which may be why Erik The Red called it that. It definitely was green at some time. This is historical proof of climate change. The climate always changes. Erik The Red could have named Greenland Iceland but Iceland was already taken. More Vikings would have settled there had he named it Freyjaland.

Butterfly – A Spanish speaker asked, “La mosca en mantequilla?” Understandably, this causes confusion to those who are not native English speakers. To me, this word perfectly describes an insect flying like butter through the air as opposed to the excrement eating insect known as the fly.

Testify – I stumbled across this word in my Torah study. Little did I know that Gen 24:2-4 was where the verification of testicles is an oath.  Abraham told his servant to “Put your hand under my thigh, that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth,…” The latin word ‘testis’ oddly is the etymological basis for this as Romans may have sworn oaths in this manner as well. Genesis precedes the Roman Empire causing me to put credibility to this historical practice. Come to think about it, the testes are aptly named as they have a front row seat, as it were, in the jury box to all of the action. They then blurt out a verdict. Next time you have to testify, keep this one in mind. “Can I get a witness?”

Mrs. – There’s no ‘r’ in ‘Misses’. Obviously, this title is for a married woman. Belonging to a ‘Mister’. Society is oblivious to a man’s marital status when his only written title is Mr. Not so for the woman. Patriarchal legacy of words. It always confused me as a child when I saw mail addressed to my grandmother as ‘Mrs. George.’

Hero – This word is currently being applied to people who put their lives at risk. But there’s a qualifier that is not being adhered to. Risking one’s life for another is heroic. Risking one’s life for personal growth or thrills is not heroic. Climbing Mt. Everest, skydiving or surfing big waves at Mavericks is not heroic.

Presidents’ Day – I grew up with Washingtons’ Birthday(February 22nd) and Lincolns’ Birthday(February 12th).  The invention of “Presidents’ Day is farcical. All presidents are being honored? Really? Americans are losing their history with revisions like this . It is just another holiday that conveniently is placed on a Monday, giving people a three day weekend.

Warsh – The word is “wash”. Not sure why people pronounce it with an “r”…

Wedgie and Melvin – I thought these were the same thing. Apparently, one is from the back and the other is from the front. Why poor Melvin gets it is just pure sadism.

Polak/Polack – “People from Poland are Poles.” – Stanley Kowalski. I’m not sure how the term ‘Polack’ is considered derogatory but I’m not Polish.

Virgin/Extra Virgin – I understand how this works for olive oil. The mind goes to strange places when applying this to human behavior. When hearing a profane word or an illicit phrase, a Puritan may say, ” Oooo. My virgin ears!” But to be extra virgin…? This is an invitation to indulge the imagination.

Holiday – Americans may be outnumbered in the Anglosphere on this one BUT….the word ‘holiday’ comes from the word ‘holy’. Holy day. As in religious. Is taking leisurely time off away from one’s home to explore a foreign land a religious experience? Taking photos of interesting places, eating exotic foods and drinking copious amounts of alcoholic beverages may be considered exciting but it’s not religious by any stretch of the imagination. The word that is most clear and accurate is ‘vacation’.

Asia/Asian – The most unclear, inaccurate and poorly applied description of a people, culture or place is the use of the word ‘Asian’ or ‘Asia’. What exactly does the word refer to? If we’re being honest and truthful, it is a reference to people from Southeast Asia and to Asia Pacific who share a physical feature of the epicanthic fold and who generally use chop sticks as eating utensils. Asia is the largest continent on the planet. Israel, Turkey, Armenia, Saudi Arabia and Russia, among many other nations are in Asia. However, seldom if ever do inhabitants or descendants of those countries use ‘Asia’ or ‘Asian’ as their primary identifier. Historically, the word ‘Oriental’ is used to describe the region and people from what was considered east of Europe. The Latin term ‘oriens’ meaning to rise(rising sun as the sun rises in the east) for Orient. A fairly innocuous term. Interestingly, the application of the term ‘Asia/Asian’ is primarily applied in English as Spanish speakers still use the term ‘Oriental’. Identifying with a continent first instead of the specific country of origin takes away national pride. Next time someone says, “I eat Asian food,” or “I’m Asian,” ask politely, “What part of Asia are you referring to?” As is often the case, a group of people decided for the rest of us what is acceptable language regardless of truth or facts being used as a determining factor.

Stoned – Today’s version of this word’s use is far more pleasant than the original. Interestingly, the original form of stoning as a capital punishment involved tossing a person from a cliff to stones below. Not quite as bad as being pelted with stones until dead. But ‘stoned’ is ‘stoned’. Being stoned in the current time is more applicable to being intoxicated through the use of cannabis. However, being drunk is also referred to as being stoned…No. I think being drunk is drunk. Alcohol. Stoned is definitely from pot. There should be a distinction. We usually say that we feel bloated from drinking too much liquid as opposed to being full from eating too much food. See? Distinctions…

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